[Celestin]

Depends on if you believe in justice or not. If you believe in justice, join Elyos. Otherwise, Asmodians will suit you fine. In fact, let me tell you a story about justice. Now, I know some of you have heard this before, but I think newbie here needs to know.

So there was this Asmodian frat dude bro type right, and he was trying to chat up this Elyos chick ( since Elyos chicks are cuter ) and the Elyos chick was like, "go away!" So you know, I walk up and ask this Asmodian bro type to show some respect and back off. And he was like, "you're stupid." So you know, I did the right thing, I grabbed his beer bottle and I smashed it, placed the base on the bar and I grabbed the Asmodian bro's head and smashed his left cheek right into the glass. So this Asmodian bro, he's all screaming and **** and I was like, "stfu!" But he kept screaming, so I grabbed the other side of his face and smashed his right cheek into the glass and I was like, "hey look, you match! Smile!" But he was still screaming stuff like "you're a maniac!" and it was getting on my nerves so I grabbed this conveniently placed two by four and I swung it into his right hip a couple of times, so now he's crumpled on the floor, holding his mangled hip. At this point, he was whimpering something about having a family he had to go home to and he was trying to fumble with his wallet to show me pictures of his daughter or something, but you and I both know he was lying. His hip is completely pulverized and a few shards of bone smashed off his hip are poking through his flesh, so I yank them out and I use them to gouge out his eye balls and start trying to shove them down his mouth ( waste not, want not right ). It's tough going because he's still screaming, but by this point, glass fragments that broke off when I smashed his face into his own beer bottle had worked themselves loose and in his incessant screaming, he manages to swallow them. So these glass fragments are now shredding his esophagus and heart and he starts coughing up blood and he can't scream so good no more. The guy was in serious pain! He's grasping and fumbling at his throat, and I think he was weeping, but I couldn't tell so good cause he had no eyes. So anyway I stop trying to feed him his own eyeballs, and I decide to help a bro out right. I yank out the biggest bone shard and use it to cut open his chest to inspect his heart and remove any glass shards I find right. But you know, this guy's ribcage, I couldn't get to his heart with it in the way, so I crack the sternum... and then the Elyos chick asks me if I want to buy her a drink. And you know, I gotta make sure justice is served, and a damsel just made a request. So I go buy her a drink. And that my friend, is justice.

Wait, did you say you were Asmodian?