[Xhieron]

I'm a male. I play males. If you want to change genders in game, more power to you. However, I'll be quite honest about myself, and I imagine if everyone else were as well, we could go a long way to insuring that people who make the gender-bending decision anticipate the consequences of that decision: Namely, I'm a sexist.

What I'm saying here applies most specifically to those who chose to gender bend anonymously--that is, without telling anyone. If you're open and honest with what you do with your character, chances are, none of what I say applies to you, since you already know the drill.

Now I don't mean to say that I'm a chauvinistic prick who thinks women should get lesser treatment than men. --but I DO discriminate, and I think anyone who's honest with him/herself can admit to that, at least in part. Now I don't discriminate by determining who I'll party or guild with, or who should get loot--and I'm sure as hell not giving gifts to anyone, no matter the gender (unless my wife decides to play). But the language I use with each sex is markedly different--and that's the way it is. I'm not ignorant as to what kinds of things will make people uncomfortable, but frankly, I think we've reached a point where feminism is a matter of fact, at least so far as it could extend into Aion, so much so that no one is entitled, regardless of gender, to carry a chip on his/her shoulder into the game because of real-world, meaningful discrimination elsewhere.

I believe women should have equal treatment as men--but the language will ALWAYS remain different. If I become friends with a female character, and the player doesn't inform me that he is a male, he can expect to be referred to as "hon," from time to time. Likewise, if I become friends with a male character, and the player doesn't inform me that she is a female, she can expect to be referred to as "dude," or "man." Male enemies that I fight (and slaughter) in PVP will be pricks, and female enemies that I fight (and slaughter) in PVP will be ****s or at least *****es.

Now I've no interest in referring to anyone--especially someone I consider my friend--as "sweet thang with the hot ta-tas," or "low-hanging Shank-o-man,"--unless of course I find out that he/she has a chip on his/her shoulder about being referred to in male/female terms, in which case all bets are off--but English, like it or not, is couched in gender. My father was born in 1939, and he calls every woman he has an even remotely friendly relationship with "hon." --I grew up emulating him, and so so do I, and I don't believe I owe it to anyone not to do that because gender sameness would alleviate the hyper-sensitivity of some stranger.

Now language is one thing--it tends to be more pronounced, at least among those of us who can be straight about our tics. But moreover, there is the additional reality of treatment in general, and some of the posts I've read have touched on this. There are stereotypes about gender, and most of them exist for a reason. It may not be a hard and fast rule that all heterosexual women are more emotionally sensitive than all heterosexual men, but I think it applies enough of the time that if I think one of my female friends has a social problem (read: drama), I'm going to try and sit down and talk to her about it, whereas with one of my male friends, I'm more likely to ask him what's up, and then let it slide if he wants to blow it off.

Gender-bending confounds all of this, and you should be aware. The most important part of this problem is honesty. If you tell your friends what your actual sex is, then you can actually make appropriate relationships. I say appropriate because the sexes don't bond with each other the same way. If you're a heterosexual male (I leave homosexuals out here since I think they make up a unique group which has its own set of attributes and difficulties) and you want your "character" to be perceived as a girl, then you absolutely will not be privy to male bonding among your male peers, and I think you should evaluate if that is something you're willing to give up for the sake of RP (or whatever other rationale you have). If you like the look of the female behind--then I can understand your point of view, but you should do what so many others do, and just tell everyone up front. A female character with a male player gets in on the dirty jokes. That's just a fact of life.

If you actually want to be the opposite sex, then you better work on your acting. I have a feeling the male mannerisms are easier to emulate by females, since I've had a harder time picking out the female players with male avatars from the male-male players. But a man playing a female character, trying to pass her off as a female, gets caught--by the real females--every single time. I've never seen one of them "outed" without the actual women having caught them first. Say and do what you will... but I'd venture, from my own experience, that more often than not, the few and proud actual gamer women can see right through you.