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Caution: Rant

Posted 06-06-2008 at 03:47 PM by TheSaintACE

The following is a rant in progress...

I just want to cry right now. I'm just so tired of everything being such a big fkn ordeal.

Work is a complete and utter pain in the a.ss lately. One hand doesn't know what the other is doing anymore with all these mergers and hiring and firing. It's like the entire place has gone nuts and I'm doing my absolutely dam.ndest to keep everything running as smoothly as possible and provide the best services that I can...but it's just nearly HELL sometimes!

I have a few outlets that I rely on to help me get through it all. One of course is Aion Source for my daily Aion fix and to just have some silly fun. I'm sure lots of people are aware of the insanity that goes on in the ChitChat thread that I started. How it turned into what it has, I'll never know...but I think people enjoy it.

I also have an rp forum that I frequent that was created by myself and a good online friend. For nearly a year it has gone relatively drama free and I appreciated having the RP outlet. I'm a big RPer. Well, lately the work situation has infringed upon some of that. Come today the actual owner, my friend, randomly posts that she feels things are going astray and she's revamping. She posted that she wasn't trying to tell anyone they were doing anything wrong...but really...it honestly hurt my feelings and made me feel like she's starting a little bit of some blarghfoogle. It was kind of one of those 'you don't understand how much effort I put into this and so much stuff is getting ignored' yadda yadda...it really was an attack and I could tell that she's upset and frustrated. Which is all well and good...but why not talk to me about it? Why blow up like that in the open and make me feel like a piece of ****? So now the place that I would typically go to rant about the fact that I've had a ****ty day...only makes it worse! I find myself wanting to hide from even there!

I mean WTF!? If I'm hiding from my haven then where do I go!?

It's so hard right now. I'm a very 'together' person and now I'm the one that's reaching the point of tears. I want to shut my door and just cry. There's more work on my desk than there are hours in the day and there's no end in sight. And now even my hobbies are becoming filled with bull****?

Then of course there's gaming. I try so hard to get my friends into games with me and either they don't like the same ones I do, or their computers won't run them...etc. etc...So then spending my time gaming...MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY!! It's like the entire world is trying to suck up all of my fkn pleasure.

I just don't know what to do and there's no point to this blog other than I had to get all this out before I explode. Basically with many of my friends all fkrd for one reason or another...I have no one to say these things to. I don't have anyone to rant at anymore.

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I'm not sure if I'm very good at comforting people (infact I've been told I can make it worse by being too realistic at times) but I'd like to say I sympathise with your current predicament. Sounds like you're having a right time of it at the moment. >_< Hopefully I can make you feel a little better or something, even if it's just knowing someone is listening. XD

Firstly, it sounds like your workplace has become a mess lately. Lots of hiring and firing can be pretty stressful. While I commend you for trying to keep it together and pull through for it (I commend your dedication~), is there anyway you could...scout out other job opportunities? I don't know what you work as, but if it's not something too high up or specialised perhaps this would be a good time to think about other places? I guess bailing on your workplace when things get tough isn't exactly the healthiest suggestion, but it depends - does your boss/who you work for deserve your dedication during this strenuous period? If so, I respect that, but if they're beginning to go down the drain (a frequent observation made about companies when the staff turnover begins to go crazy and mergers are made) then you could be putting yourself through it and not getting the recognition you deserve. Bad times. D: But maybe something to think about?

For your friend with the RP forums, I think you have a right to be slightly hurt by her sudden actions. My advice here (which isn't especially creative) would be to try and communicate with her. Try and maybe tell her your feelings in a gentle way? You aren't necessarily trying to pick a fight, but maybe once she knows how you feel she might reconsider her actions or at least apologise to you.

As for your friends...well, all I can say is good luck on fighting the good fight. But perhaps your being a gamer is something that is unique about you to them, so I dunno...you might find yourself not getting very far with it. Good luck, though!

Sorry for giving you such generalistic advice, but I hope it's somewhat cheered you up. Hang in there. >_<

Posted 06-07-2008 at 06:10 PM by Lunais Lunais is offline

Thanks. It's good to see that someone actually read through things lmfao...

Actually, my profession is very specialized and fairly high up. I went to school for many many many years to get my degree and get a license to practice. As for going somewhere else...the state of the US isn't very good right now. People can't pay for my services as it is...there's not much in my area. Honestly, if I want to pay for my brand new house, brand new car, brand new computer, etc. etc...I have no choice but to be there. Do they deserve my dedication? It's debatable...but the people who come there for help THEY deserve my dedication and that's why I got into the profession in the first place. I'm there to help people...not make the company look good.

As for the friend on the RP forum...I think we might have an understanding. I dunno...She got a new video game and got some stress out on her own and seems less ****y. I honestly think it was the fact that her family are being crappy to her coupled with the fact her AC was out for like two weeks. Now she has AC and an outlet so...no more ****y.

I dunno what to do about the gaming situation...meh...*shrugs and goes to get snacks*

Posted 06-07-2008 at 08:43 PM by TheSaintACE TheSaintACE is offline

	There there my pet. Relax while I work on you and let all these worries melt away.
	Posted 06-11-2008 at 02:49 PM by Diablo

	sighs and relaxes, eyes closing Yes Master.
	Posted 06-15-2008 at 11:33 AM by TheSaintACE

some times you just need to step away from the drama and do something different for a few days, relax and take a hot shower, and literally forget about it... some times friends yelling and ranting are just all boiled down to "please, some times i feel under apreciated and flowers are nice, so are hugs" its not really yelling its just, i need a hug

walk away and enjoy something new, iced coffee at a park, or my personal choice is to read a book. good books take your mind of all that drama, i would suggest "The Lies of Locke Lamore" by scott lynch (sp wrong probably) but very good i bet an rp person would love it, going to be made into a movie too!

good luck and try and separate "work" from "home" more and turn home in a nice place where the stress of work cant get to you

and in the future remember the Drama Train while free, is never fun

Posted 06-08-2009 at 11:25 PM by Eloc Eloc is offline

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