Chronicles of a Gladiator

[ProphetX]

Originally Posted by Celestin

Do it Celestin style.

I'll start by swinging a 2 by 4 into your right pelvis, pulping the flesh and shattering the bone. As you crumple to the floor, eyes rolling up toward the top of your head in agony I neatly make a large incision over your medulla and a small incision over your stomach. I then reach down into the hole over your stomach and grab your small intestine which I drag out and subsequently tie around your esophagus. Before complete asphyxiation, I swing the 2 by 4 into your right pelvis again, and this time, I remove the bone shards that are forcefully pushed out of your side by the force of impact. Using these bone shards, I gouge out your eyeballs before jamming them into your knee, just below the kneecap. I then use an extra large and sharp cheese grater and begin grating off layers of your flesh off your arm and feed them to you. As your esophagus is closed off, the food accumulates in your esophagus, causing your esophagus to expand and stretch many fold, causing immense pain. In the end, your esophagus will burst. Ahhh XD

Started off good, then it slowly degraded :|

[2aimless]

Originally Posted by ProphetX

STEP 1 : ROLL GLADIATOR

STEP 2 : ??????

STEP 3 : PROFIT.

This is exactly what thousands of ppl are going to do..

[Celestin]

Originally Posted by ProphetX

Started off good, then it slowly degraded :|

How could I have improved? I only slay organically - I generally avoid chemicals and other products not from our Mother Earth.

[LethalGT]

Wake up, Have a nourishment of blood than the day begins.

Run around in the street smashing skulls against walls/buildings/hard objects while mashing there faces in with my 12 foot long spiky pole.
Have sex with your puny elyos women.

Or, Swing it like yah mean it.

[Zanion]

Originally Posted by LethalGT

Have sex with your puny elyos women.

.

Guys i do not want this to become a flame thread for elyos and asmodians so do not post things like this here !!!

[Caeis]

Spend my days powerbating.

[Gatz]

Originally Posted by Shugosha

they're gladiators, icanhasnobrainsallowed!

I suggest your read the biography about gladiators man. Clearly states that gladiators are not stupid.

I wake up early in the morning for the usual training. Have a rich breakfast while thinking of the dream I had. A dream where I was the strongest of the strongest, a dream where I fought hard and conquered what I wanted to achieve.
I realize I do not have a reason to fight, yet it is stil what I believe in, yet it is what I am.
As for my training, it always puts me on the verge of dieying everytime I do it, because I strongly believe that what does not kill you makes you stronger.
The sword in my hand speaks more than a thousand words, to really know me you must fight me.
Days go by, strenght grows, yet I'm not at all satisfied. Must have more power, much more power.
I head out to the world, to fight the strongest ones. I've lost count of the ammount of death I handed out yet there is still much more to come.
Fighting for what I believe in, fight for strenght, fight to be the strongest or simply fight to hand out death.
These reasons is what makes a gladiator.
A gladiator is what I am.

[Zanion]

yeah gatz that't what i want in thsi thread

[Gatz]

Just proving that gladiators got more brain than just "Me smash! You die!".

[Pham]

Originally Posted by Zanny

Ima stomp up in yo ranger faze, take that puny wooden bow, snap it in half with my HULKING MANLINESS AND PURE BRAWN, and proceed to rip your arm off, AND EAT IT, before urinating on your shivering body ripe with convulsions and intense blood loss.

After youre dead, your women are next.

Aionsource, rated M for mature since May 16th, 2008.

Laughing my ****ING *** off hahaha I was dying when I read this lol amazing

Anyways, I wake up...take me morning ****, wipe with my previous day of collected Elyos feathers...
Go out, train my *** off to be the best and help fulfill the members of Tensai's goals. Plan raids and flawless castle siege strategies.

Then gather the Organization and head into the Abyss, and well....whatever happens, happens.
What happens in the Abyss . . . Stays in the Abyss ^.^

[Ambition]

Wake up at 6:00am, after getting only 2 hours of sleep, to make sure that it's fair for the sing-songy genderbender Elyos boys to fight me.

At 6:15am, I don my armor, reconsider, and take it off. I head out into the Abyss in my underpants, just to be fair, and to distract the Elyos women.

I walk, not fly, casually past the Elyos groups trying to level. The cleric ladies, stunned by my striking physique and poleaxe (LOLOLOL DOUBLE ENTONDREZZZZ) fail to heal their partymembers, which all die.

I come to an odd looking Elyos man, standing on the road, staring me down. He is bald, muscular, and not at all like an Elyos should be.

It is Vin Diesel.

We engage in a badassness contest, which after a slight struggle I win. Vin Diesel cries and offers me his house in return for his life, and after a short bargain involving several million dollars and the sunglasses from Chronicles of Riddik, I let him scurry off and continue on my way.

I reach one of the Elyos towns, and stealthily plant a boombox on one of the roofs of their buildings. Quickly escaping (as well as you can with all the Elyos women gasping), the death metal blasting from the device causes the metrosexual Elyos men's heads to explode.

I retire to my new home to kick Vin Diesel's wife out (after ordering her to make me a sandwich), throw the puny Elyos sandwich away and eat an entire cow without stopping to kill or cook it. I then climb in bed for 2 hours of sleep.